Alone, But Not Lonely.

One of the most difficult adjustments forced upon us by serious illness is that of suddenly finding ourselves alone. Whether we are around others or not, we now seem to have a part of us that will in many ways always be alone.

Mostly, this sounds like a horribly haunting notion, so much so it might as well be another heart wrenching diagnosis in itself. But we do not need any testing for it. We know it. We feel it.

We see it every morning in the mirror, and we sleep with it in our empty beds at night. This feeling begs to become the reflection of an altogether empty life. We are only human, and this is normal.

Eventually, this truth forces us to come face to face with the fact that we have two choices. We can continue to die inside from loneliness or we can learn one of the most profound lessons of all, how to be alone without being lonely.

Ultimately, despite our decision we find ourselves alone in both. But it is an irrational death sentence to the heart to choose the aforementioned, and a gift of a life fully lived to choose the latter.

A life in which we allow for the birth of a new opening within our hearts for love to flow within and without, constantly connecting ourselves to others and the universe as a whole.  

The point is to brave the journey of exploring the parts of ourselves in which we feel alone, so we may learn to be alone without being lonely. In many ways, achieving this admirable feat that society quivers at the very thought of goes hand in hand with embracing the present moment.

When we are able to do this, we come to see it as a truth that the now is all we will ever need. Even when we no one is physically by our sides, we are never alone. We never were, and we never truly can be. We are connected to the present moment at all times, anchored to the songs bellowed from the heart of the universe.

Fear fades and instead of shriveling into the dark caves of our rooms signaling a betrayal of the soul, we stand tall and lift our heads to the vast ocean of the blue skies with our hearts open to life’s ferociously raging rivers of radiant energy. After spending much of our lives staring out our windows, watching life pass us by, we suddenly wake one morning and realize the life we yearn for already bleeds inside.

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