The world constitutes strength as possessing physical power, societal power, and financial power. In illness, we learn great insight and wisdom on this subject. We learn what most do not learn until they are elderly. Strength has nothing to do with muscles, fame, or fortune. It has everything to do with facing unimaginable heartache after heartache, allowing ourselves to break down and be human which renders us as desperately vulnerable, and then having the courage to wake up and face yet another day.
In fact, all of the aforementioned attributes regarding the world’s take on strength possess the power to quickly turn themselves into major weaknesses. Furthermore, they possess the power to turn mankind into animals. As individuals facing struggles unbearable to most, we are endowed with the great gift of gaining perspective on such a crucial matter in life.
We change dramatically the moment the doctor mouths a diagnosis promising to halt our life long dreams for awhile, or perhaps forever. We change, but we do not die -except for in many cases, when superficial parts of us do. If anything, we each embark on a journey to live, to fully live -in a way only provoked when death rests its head on our weary shoulders, breathing its foul breath upon us, sharing it with our own, so that we inhale death and exhale life.
When we breathe the same air as death, when death and life constantly collide, we are forever branded with the eyes of children seeing the world for the first time.
A veil is lifted, and all things ordinary suddenly seem extraordinary. We learn the unfortunate makes us fortunate, but not before breaking down repeatedly along the way. Enduring this is a must, if we wish to transmute our suffering into peace. Forced upon us is the realization, and hopefully the eventual acceptance, that both death and life can and must co-exist at all times, ill or not. With the acceptance of this comes the strength to bear the unbearable, bone chilling sleepless nights spent staring at the same four walls, as thoughts with no finish lines race in our heads.
To feel the good, we must also feel the bad. We have to feel both in their entirety, requiring us to live with open and vulnerable hearts as we journey into the unknown and to, along the way, summon forth more strength than we never imagined we had.
Inevitably, we come to realize the world’s idea of strength, in which we stare down struggle with stone cold eyes and watered down emotions, is but a facade masking great weakness, keeping our weaknesses concealed tightly within, making sure they stay trapped within us, and us within them.
With no release, we find ourselves walking hand and in hand with our hidden weaknesses each and every moment we allow them to continue imprisoning us.
While the world’s idea of weakness includes composing oneself and avoiding strong emotions during struggle, we come to see how in order to get to the next mile on the road to healing, we must acknowledge that such a notion is entirely false; and that this notion in itself is instead actually the very definition of weakness.
…To plunge deep within the dark waters of disease and struggle with eyes wide open without resistance to the unknown, despite the fear it creates, is to display immense courage. True strength acts rawly, its actions uncensored, its core characteristics are human. That is genuine fearlessness.
Post Lyme/After Lyme Treatment
Life will never be perfect, or void of heartbreaks and struggle,
After Lyme, you will inevitably have some sort of devestating event shatter your world, make you question all you thought to be true , make you feel as if you will never be the same again (you won’t be. The good news? It’s entirely up to you to make this fact a good thing, to turn it into an opportunity for growth and wisdom. Like I said though, it’s ENTIRELY up to you …because alternatively, you could numb hurt and fake a strong appearance —never fully feeling and thus never fully overcoming— said tragedy in which case it WILL make you internally miserable, into someone you don’t even like.
But LIKE I SAID …the ways in which lyme or any tragedy change you are ENTIRELY your choice ( pretty empower, eh?). What it comes down to is your willingness (or lack thereof) to be vulnerable, feel your “shit” fully, and show up to the table each and every day.