While enduring a pain filled night induced by the full moon of 2014, along with Bartonella and many other factors, I decided to do something different. Rather than worry about the fact that I must sleep in order to heal, I decided to use it as an opportunity. Either way, I was up with insomnia, so why not use the time productively? Being productive,  for me, is about working towards healing your inner self because all else follows, and I truly believe there is a definite difference between healing and curing. Healing has to do with your spiritual journey, curing has to do with your disease.

Long story short, I spent my time reflecting on what matters most. What I found is that many negative things that I thought mattered did and do infact matter, but for a distinctly different reason than I thought.

They matter because they each hold the potential to act as doorways to wisdom, insight, and spiritual growth -thus making them essentially positive. Of course, how we deal with negative situations is our choice. We can stay stuck in them and dwell on their occurrence, avoid them altogether out of denial and fear of further pain, or we can go beyond them.

By going beyond them, rather than ignoring them or getting stuck in them, we must go through them. I found that when we do, the hidden meanings behind things dramatically change. Personally, this is what I found to be true:

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Journey Through Pain: Distinguishing Between What Matters and What Doesn’t

It does not matter how many times we are humiliated, it matters how humbled we become from our humiliation.

It does not matter if the people we thought were our loved ones leave us, it matters that we halt our hearts from leaving with them so that we may continue to love, refusing to abandon ourselves because we have been abandoned.

It does not matter if we are outcasted by cowards, it matters that we transmute their cowardice into our own bravery.

It does not matter if weak people, deliberately or not, try to tear us down, it matters that we use the energy emitted from their actions to motivate us and build ourselves up, allowing ourselves to become strong  not only from our own weaknesses, but from theirs as well.

It does not matter how painful the tragedies striking our bodies are, it matters that we use them to learn that we are more than our bodies, thus enabling ourselves to separate our true selves from pain, preventing us from inflicting further suffering on both ourselves and the world around us.

It does not matter how many parts of ourselves we believe we have lost,  it matters that we allow the openings left by their absence to serve as windows for the universe to shine through, ultimately creating a life in which we gain much more than we lose.

It does not matter if we break down and feel sad at times, it matters that we use our breakdowns as vehicles to remind us that others are experiencing the same thing, signaling we must build ourselves up so we may help them, rendering both parties unbroken.

It does not matter how many people leave us during our darkest moments, it matters that we use those moments to pay gratitude to the universe for showing us the parts of our lives filled with illusions rather than love, thereby ridding of us unnecessary negativity to add some degree of light to all that is dark.

It does not matter how often we cry, it matters that we use our time spent crying to reflect on all things from a point of objectivity, so we may come out on the other side with deeper insight and an authentic smile.

It does not matter how horrific and seemingly unfair the things we see and feel are, it matters that we stare them in the eyes rather than shrinking away from their existence, so that we may drop the veils between the doors of perception and reality, essentially exposing all truths once hidden.

It does not matter if we put on a brave face of cool aloofness in front of others in an attempt to create an image of grace,it matters that we realize there is no aloofness in genuine bravery, rather there is intense emotion in which we unashamedly and fearlessly feel, as that is what it means to be human, that is what it means to show true grace.

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