Chronic Illness: The Courage to Love in the Wake of Broken Promises

Relationships and chronic illness

Many relationships are shattered in the midst of dealing with a life altering, and devastating (perception depending ), illness.

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When we get hurt, we put up walls around our hearts to protect them from ever being touched and thus possibly hurt and “broken” again — there are, off the top of my head, automatically 6 blaringly obvious reasons as to why this popular saying (that’s turned into something the scorned and bitter think is actually a possible way to live) is riddled with equal parts absurdity and outright insanity and pretty much void of any real logic and reasoning.

Before my brain continues down the rabbit hole of absurdity, surpassing 6 reasons, and putting us both in danger of insanity in an effort to dissect insanity…let’s just acknowledge perhaps the …loudest… voice of reason against this concept:

if you put walls around your heart so no one can ever break your heart again (which isn’t guaranteed to happen even) , rest assured you’ve sealed your fate …one of misery and in the macro likely insanity… and you’ve GARAUNTEED it to happen (unless you drop the wall BS) without exception. 

So no one can break your heart. Because they can’t penetrate feelings of love …you’ve ensured they won’t hurt you or love you. You’ll definitely never feel loved again because of the chance (IE not definite) you might feel heartbroken again and you, in short, don’t think you’re strong enough to withstand pain and/or somehow have yet to grasp the magnitude of love  because otherwise you would know it’s a force greater than ….or at least every bit equal to… heartbreak. It’s worth it. If you understand that, then ultimately the problem is you don’t think you’re worth it and not another person and well …that’s a mind made problem to pretend to fix another day. 

Also, if yno one can love you, you can’t love anyone or anything either. Those walls you built? Based on perspective …they’re   not so much protecting your heart as they are imprisoning it. Keeping it broken,

To sum up the obvious, choosing not to let another in because of failed past relationships only creates the very thing you are running from and endlessly and unnecessarily past a point at that —heartbreak. Pain. Suffering. Disconnection.

We. vow to never let another into our hearts or souls again. Although when we vow to never let another in our heart again, we do so on a momentary  notion that feels every bit concrete and everlasting.

Said notion >>>  “I’m strong, I do not need anyone else. All I need and want in life is myself “ …or some individualized version alluding to the same basis.

We convince ourselves this is strength.

However, once we or if we emerge from focusing our thoughts on a micro loss and come up to face the reality of the macro truth in this situations …it’s pretty much immediately clear how backwards this motion is.

Infact, so much so, it’s sort of …for a moment,.. embarrassing ? that we didn’t see this from this start and save ourselves unnecessary anguish.

But being embarrassed about yourself to only yourself is it’s own cocktail of absurdity so don’t linger there, it happens.

—Seriously,  to almost everyone at one point in life after an exceptionally severe heartbreak.

We all tell ourselves living this way will allow us to avoid the hurt love may potentially bring.

However, the truth eventually reigns: living in such a manner and rejecting love is absolute weakness rooted in fear.

By not letting others in out of fear of getting hurt, we end up hurting ourselves even more by denying ourselves the pleasure of love.

When we do not let others love us, it usually means we do not love ourselves. To reject love is to reject life.


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