Mental Pain from Weekends Alone: The “Gap”

Mental pain is quite different from physical pain, and if you are anything like me, you have felt its presence intensely …..It flows into your chest and tightens your muscles with the sorrow and heartbreak stemming from over 600 Saturday nights spent alone within the same four walls….

Mental pain is quite different from physical pain, and if you are anything like me, you have felt its presence intensely during the wee hours of countless weekend nights spent alone.

It flows into your chest and tightens your muscles with the sorrow and heartbreak stemming from over 600 Saturday nights spent alone within the same four walls, while those you know are out enjoying their lives in some sort of social setting that you yourself used to frequent. When it is someone close to you who is out, such as a significant other, it is the fiercest of reminders.

Intense physical pain may almost seem preferable, as it forces you into the present and allots no room for thought.  Thoughts, from this kind of pain, are abundant and dedicated to the stories of your past and the illusionary ones of a mind made future.

This type of pain –mental pain felt while alone in the dark of the night- debatably brews greater suffering than that of intense physical pain, as it creates a gap between the past, the future and the present.  

It is in this gap, and only in this gap, where fear, anxiety, and your darkest mind made nightmares prowl. What can you learn from this?

…To stop trying to learn, to stop desperately groping for answers to “fix” everything, and to instead rest in the gap ….because from the outside looking in there really is no other logical choice.

The gap of which I speak, of course, is but a synonym for suffering. Either way, you are in the gap, whether or not you choose to drop resistance to it. However, in the aforementioned you multiply your suffering and widen the gap by remaining active in it.

In the latter, you close the gap, because once you rest in it you rest in what is, and the negative emotions controlling you evaporate into the thin air from which they came -and if fear, anxiety and the like are crowding your mind at the moment, then the gap is what is, and what is right now is all there can ever be.